1. Wife asks her husband: "How many women have you ever slept with?
Husband responds: "One, two, three, four, five, six...six total.
2. My girlfriend got a police officer costume and arrested me on suspicion that I was a stud in bed.
After three minutes the charges were dropped because there was no evidence.
3. A few days before Christmas, a mom calls her daughter: "Hey, I know this might come as a shock but I'm pregnant."
"How could this happen?" the daughter responds, shocked. "You're 44! Oh my god, this is horrible."
"It was an accident", the mom says. "Please just call and your sister and tell her. Have to go!" the daughter frantically calls her sister. The sister screams at the top of her lungs and calls her mother.
"I don't understand, " she says. "The two of us are flying home right away to help. I'm booking the flights now. This is unbelievable!" She hangs up the phone.
The woman pops a bottle of wine, pour two glasses and turns to her husband,"Honey, The kids are coming for Christmas. And they are paying for their own plane tickets."
Husband responds: "One, two, three, four, five, six...six total.
2. My girlfriend got a police officer costume and arrested me on suspicion that I was a stud in bed.
After three minutes the charges were dropped because there was no evidence.
3. A few days before Christmas, a mom calls her daughter: "Hey, I know this might come as a shock but I'm pregnant."
"How could this happen?" the daughter responds, shocked. "You're 44! Oh my god, this is horrible."
"It was an accident", the mom says. "Please just call and your sister and tell her. Have to go!" the daughter frantically calls her sister. The sister screams at the top of her lungs and calls her mother.
"I don't understand, " she says. "The two of us are flying home right away to help. I'm booking the flights now. This is unbelievable!" She hangs up the phone.
The woman pops a bottle of wine, pour two glasses and turns to her husband,"Honey, The kids are coming for Christmas. And they are paying for their own plane tickets."